How to cook a five star meal at home, Pillar article

   These are tips to making a delicious five star meal at home.

I will walk you through an Appetizer, Entree, and Dessert.

The Appetizer will be a big stupid chili bean dip or aka B.S.C.B.D

Supplies  you'll need, 

• Can opener
• A burner, a hot plate, and something you can heat a pot on
• A pot, of course
• Something else to stir it up with
• Oven, or a microwave, but ovens are always best

Ingredients

• Black Bean, one can
• Kidney Beans, one can aswel
• Cheddar cheese, about a fourth of a pound
• Chips, 
• Chef Boyardee's beef a roni, one can
• Salt, a pinch or two
• Black pepper, a pinch or two

Optional ingredients may include for dope treats

• Aleppo pepper flakes, a pinch or two
• Some Sour cream
• Cream cheese of course 

Note* -- If you do not have Aleppo pepper in your spice arsenal, you could substitute it for crushed red pepper, or chili power or maybe even some cayenne. just do not over do it

Preparation 

1. Open the two cans of beans and the Boyardee. Dump that into a pot. Make sure it all fits, duh

• . Fire up the pot on medium-high heat, and get them cooking to a low bubbling, for about fifteen minutes. 
• Adjust the heat so it's not going nuts—you want 'em cooking but not, like, exploding in your kitchen.

2. As that stuff is cooking, take about two-thirds of that cheddar cheese, and 

• stir it in there—a few pieces at a time—so they melt into the mix. And if you've got sour cream and cream cheese, throw in a tablespoon of those for a creamier consistency.

3. Take it off the burner once all that cheese is melted in and it's got a melty, only-kinda-but-not-too-chunky consistency.

•  Let it cool off. Season it to taste with the salt, pepper, and Aleppo flakes. That Atomic Red Boyardee sauce is gonna be on the sweet side. If you want the heat, now's the time to bring it.

4. If you're super hungry, you can top it with the rest of the cheddar cheese, and eat it right then and there. But good things come to people who can chill for a second. '

note: 

The real way you want to do this: Cover it with some foil, and get it in the fridge. Get it cold as soon as you can. Once it solidifies, you can reheat it by throwing it in a 400°F oven for five to seven minutes. Once it's at that perfect level of heat—warm enough to eat, with some solid layering on top—that's when you hit it with the rest of your cheddar cheese on top.

5.   Serve with the chips and get to eating!

Entree

this portions is my favorite part,

The dish.. Improv Mazeman!!

What you need:

• can opener
• a burner 
• A pot
• Something to stir it up with 
• A hot plate, or a big pan
• a colander or strainer
• a 12 or 14 inch frying pan, yay!

Ingredients -- this is important

• get some instant ramen noddles
• Eggs, about four
• Small pack of Bacon
• Six cups of water
• butter or any kind

Preparations

• For this dish it's going to be instant by using boiled water, it's basically a one ingredient stock

1. The some bacon, cut it up into small pieces about one inch. Toss them in a pot a medium-high heat. Let that cook and sear. Them Mix them around to make sure they're all being cooked.

2. while the bacon is being cooked, you should peel and cut all the onions in half. Place the half cut part down into the pan with the bacon and let them get brown. You want to get the pieces of onion to nearly charred/black. It will be smoky. The char gives the soup a nice flavor.

3. Once the bacon is crisp, and the onion charred, dump some water at room temperature on top. 

Allow this to cook for 15 mins. Keep heat on boil.

4. Strain the pot, set the bacon and onions aside then place the liquid back in the pot. This is where the noodles come into play. Set the flavor packets aside, then cook the noodles in the stock for two or three minutes.

5. Take the same pot you've been using. Take a tablespoon or two of butter and mix it in. Reheat that bacon, and fry an egg. While the egg is cooking and bacon is warming, carve a couple rings out of the charred onion and season the ramen. On the top of each dish, place some bacon bits, the egg and a slice of onion on the top of the ramen for texture and taste. 

Eat up!

AH, DESSERT time

This is a treat for you all-- It's Ice Cream Damnwich

You'll need a freezer, or a really cold hole in the ground.

Ingredients:

• Oatmeal cream pie, about four cookies.
• Cereal, a nice couple handfuls
• single serving of ice cream, or two if you want to get crazy
• Chocolate bars, one or two and you need to freeze these.

Pre time

1. Take your chocolate bar and chap it up into little pieces
2. Dump this into a bowl, let the pieces melt for a minute or until they are mushy.
3. Take the ice cream and mash them between your sandwich materials the toss it back into the freezer to harden up. Throw the sandy back into the freeze to harden it up.
4. Once you are ready to eat it, take a minute or two for the room temperature to thaw the ice cream up after taking it out of the freezer . Wait till the hard frozen edges become soft.
4.1/2. Take some cereal, either from a single-serving or stolen from a college cafeteria, whatever-- put it in the bowl. Then crush the cereal of any kind into the bowl. Try not to make the cereal into powder though.
5. Take the sandwich and drag the exterior into the bowl with crushed cereal. You now have crust

6. Eat that Damnwich!! 

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